Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In modern society, the issue of imposing strict
punishments
for limiting driving offences has sparked considerable debate. Some argue that imposing strict
punishments
is the key issue to reducing
traffic
accidents
. Others contend that there are
also
other effective measures to solve the problems. In my opinion,
while
I accept imposing strict
punishments
can reduce
traffic
accidents
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
certain degree, I agree that there should be another effective way to reduce
traffic
accidents
. It is true that imposing strict
punishments
will exert certain deterring effects on those
rule
breakers.
For instance
, drivers might ignore the
traffic
lights and park randomly
due to
the financial punishment. Those party
people
might not drive after being intoxicated at the expense of driver's license withdrawal and even a prison sentence.
People
will be deterred by the serious result of driving offences
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
different extent. Other
people
contend the view, one that I am in favour of, that other measures are
also
effective in reducing
traffic
accidents
. For one point, educating the public on the reason why they should obey the
rule
is more important than imposing strict
punishments
.
For instance
, imposing strict
punishments
might not come into effect for those risk-preferred young
people
, who have little idea of the reason for obeying the public
rule
. In China, many young rich adults dare to race at any time. The stricter the rules are, the more they are excited to break the
rule
, purely seeking short-period negative achievement. Without being systematically educated, those young
people
would not foster a sense of responsibility for taking care of others' lives. In conclusion,
punishments
can reduce the potential rate of
traffic
offences to some degree, but I highly agree that educating
people
on the importance of obeying
traffic
norms is more effective.
Submitted by erminelyu on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure throughout, which will help the reader follow your argument more easily. This means having a clear introduction, body paragraphs that clearly support your main points, and a strong conclusion to sum up your arguments.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, make sure to clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points succinctly. Ensure that your conclusion brings closure to your essay without introducing completely new ideas.
task achievement
Develop your main points with clear, relevant, and specific examples. Try to use a variety of examples from different sources, if possible. This will make your argumentation stronger and your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, make sure that you fully address the prompt by discussing both views in equal measure and providing your own opinion clearly and comprehensively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • repeat offenses
  • infrastructure improvements
  • public awareness campaigns
  • reckless driving
  • traffic management technologies
  • intelligent traffic lights
  • speed cameras
  • public transportation
  • minimize
  • enhance safety
  • allocate funds
  • road signs
  • road safety
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