IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, schools are open till late so that children can be looked after when parents at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#countries #schools #children #parents #work
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In
this
 concurrent era, it is becoming
trend
Add an article
a trend
show examples
 to
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 late. There is
discussion
Add an article
a discussion
the discussion
show examples
 about that in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 nations, schools are not closing till late timings and take care of students
while
 their
parents
 are on job. I will discuss its both benefits and drawbacks in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of pros
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it.
The first
Correct article usage
First
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 guardians can do their
work
 more efficiently.
As nowadays
Change preposition
Nowadays
show examples
, both
parents
 have to
work
 for their livelihood. So that they can provide every amenity to their child. In spite of
this
, they can put more dedication
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their
work
 and earn more without worrying
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their young ones. To exemplify
this
, In India many kinder gardens are situated, in which they take care of
children
 after their school and help them
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their school
work
. Despite
this
, it can
also
 incline wages of
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 or
care takers
Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
 who look after
children
 because they provide their double time to students and help kids
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their homework, teach them behavioural
etiquettes
Fix the agreement mistake
etiquette
show examples
 and
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 with them in distinct games.
On the contrary
, leaving
children
 in school for long hours have some limitations
also
. When young ones do not get enough time with their
parents
.
Firstly
, a communication gap
starting
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 building between them. They do not share their happiness or worries with their
parents
. They do not like to share their love for each other. Which
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 differences
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 them. In spite of
this
, few individuals feel low or
burden
Wrong verb form
burdened
show examples
 as they are spending their full day
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one place with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 people. Sometimes it
boring
Add a missing verb
is boring
show examples
 to sit in one room for
whole
Add an article
the whole
a whole
show examples
 day.
To conclude
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
, late timings of
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 can help
parents
 to focus on their
work
. But it can create
gap
Add an article
a gap
show examples
 between them and their
children
due to
 time management and emotional impact on
children
 as well.
Submitted by amrindersinghynr89 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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