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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

politicians are more responsible for protecting of the environment than individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#politicians #environment #individuals
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There is no doubt
politicans
Correct your spelling
politicians
politics
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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 an important role to build a nation but here, some people are saying that social leaders are more responsible to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
 than
public
Correct article usage
the public
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. I
am partially agree
Change the verb form
partially agree
show examples
 with the given notion. I will discuss my viewpoints with examples and
conclusion
Correct article usage
a conclusion
show examples
. First and foremost,
politicians
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 are the famous person in society and country because people give
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 votes to their favourite leaders, because of
this
Linking Words
, individuals
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
like to follow those leaders so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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if
politicians
Use synonyms
 will protect
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
then
Linking Words
 people will
also
Linking Words
 begin to follow those persons and they will
also
Linking Words
 contribute to
protect
Change the verb form
protecting
show examples
 the
environment
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,
as a result
Linking Words
,
politicians
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 could become role model for the public.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
politicians
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 can start different kinds of awareness programmes for the public
such
Linking Words
 as, how they can secure the
environment
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 from pollution and other issues owing to
this
Linking Words
 fact,
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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 will grow more and more plants in their surroundings and they can get
good
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a good
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environment
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 which will be free from harmful gasses. To cite an example, in India,
politicians
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 start to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plants on special days to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 and it is
great
Add an article
a great
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 idea to grow the plants.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it should be the responsibility of everyone to protect
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 not only the
politicians
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 because if everyone will give
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
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contribute
Replace the word
contribution
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 to
secure
Wrong verb form
securing
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 the
environment
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then
Linking Words
 they can get
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
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 and clean
environment
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
politicians
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 always have some other tasks that could be related to
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 conditions of the country and other issues, so they cannot give proper attention towards protecting the
environment
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, individuals should understand their responsibility
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 and they should not create any pollution in
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
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. In conclusion, I believe that
politicians
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 can give
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 pathways to protect the
environment
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 to
public
Add an article
the public
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 as they will follow that or
politicians
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 should enforce some laws and regulations towards protecting the
environment
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. And,
public
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the public
show examples
 should
also
Linking Words
 give
their
Change the pronoun
them
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 confer to secure their surroundings.
Submitted by sekhogghk on

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