In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Nowadays, there are substantial demographic changes in some countries around the globe
due to
the migration
phenomenon
from rural to urban
areas
. Even though it seems like a positive development for some people, Personally, I argue that it will contribute more negative impacts both on remote and urban
areas
. Pursuing good social mobility
such
as health care, infrastructure, and transportation in urban causing the migration
phenomenon
to increase all the time around the globe. Despite the
cities
increasing their productive-age society because of
this
phenomenon
, it
also
could cause many problems for
cities
. High demand for food sources, living space, or even communal
areas
such
as public transportation will strain economic stability, which means the government should allocate more money to build and develop
this
sector. Jakarta is one of the best examples where overpopulation causes unemployment to rise since not enough job opportunities, leading to more criminal cases like thief and robbery, because people can not fulfil their needs
as a consequence
.
Furthermore
, rural
such
as some villages in Tana Toraja lose a large number of their population especially the young generation,who will be the next generation to preserve and continue the traditions
due to
this
migration effect.
Moreover
, villages’ economies will
also
impacted by
this
phenomenon
, where land and property become cheap and considered invaluable things to buy, causing economic decline over time. Taking everything into account, the migrating
phenomenon
from rural to urban
areas
is not a positive demographic change. A high number of
cities
' population will not ensure that it will contribute a positive developments,
conversely
, it will strain
cities
in economic and social aspects, leading to numerous criminal cases.
Above all
, there are many villages in remote
areas
that are predicted will lose their culture
due to
the population decline over time.
Submitted by k a l l a on

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logical structure
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to make your stance more explicit.
logical structure
Use linking words or phrases more consistently to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
Strengthen your conclusion by succinctly summarizing the points discussed and highlighting the main argument.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments and provide more convincing evidence.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors to improve clarity and readability.
relevant specific examples
Good use of specific examples, like Jakarta, to illustrate a point.
complete response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, offering a balanced view.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported and clearly articulated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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