IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

More an more people are becoming seriously overweight. some people say that raising the prices of fast-food will dolce this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The excess
Correct article usage
Excess
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eating is not just about
food
Use synonyms
.
Food
Use synonyms
 is a mode of coping with stress,anxiety,
Linking Words
overall
Correct word choice
and overall
show examples
 with your emotions. It
is disagreed
Change to the active voice
disagrees
has disagreed
show examples
 that raising the fast
food
Use synonyms
 prices will solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. In order to solve a pattern we need to look at the cause. Analysing the causes of
food
Use synonyms
 coping and the
way
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 tend to suppress their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
 through
outside
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different tools will prove
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, let's look at overweight
people
Use synonyms
 as
people
Use synonyms
 who are finding, eating, a safe
way
Use synonyms
 of dealing with life. It is scientifically proven that when we are eating, we feel in an instinctive
way
Use synonyms
 safety.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if we seek safety in an excessive
way
Use synonyms
, that means in our outside world, we are feeling danger. Raising prices would probably just amplify that feeling.
Secondly
Linking Words
, having an eating disorder is considered a vice. I think that all human beings are having a
way
Use synonyms
 of escaping sometime.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 might be a mode of coping. Everything that gives you pleasure is a dopamine recharge. Raising prices of fast
food
Use synonyms
 will eventually just direct
people
Use synonyms
 to other accessible tools.
To conclude
Linking Words
, being overweight is a sensitive
way
Use synonyms
 of dealing with life problems. I would
encourage
Correct pronoun usage
themencourage
show examples
, giving support and
deeper
Correct article usage
a deeper
show examples
 understanding
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 what they are feeling. Cooperating just on the surface level will not solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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