In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

try to spend their holidays

Use synonyms

travel

Wrong verb form

travelling

show examples

more anywhere than just staying around their home. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that overseas

travel

Use synonyms

will decrease in the future and families will more

travel

Use synonyms

locally. Personally, I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea, and in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will support my opinion with examples. Many families wish to

travel

Use synonyms

to another country than their own.

To begin

Linking Words

with, many tourists have an intention to taste different foods because most of them bored to have local foods.

Moreover

Linking Words

, youngsters go on many local travels

due to

Linking Words

the trips are related to their work.

For example

Linking Words

, engineers have to

travel

Use synonyms

many times to the countryside where needs in order to implement different kinds of projects because the regions

also

Linking Words

need to develop wireless or wired networks.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, overseas

travel

Use synonyms

gives lots of benefits because both parents and children learn about many different cultures and it broadens their horizons.

As a result

Linking Words

, the public tries to

travel

Use synonyms

abroad when they have a chance

due to

Linking Words

the reasons I mentioned.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, local travelling cost less than going abroad because families need to collect more money for the studies of their children.

For instance

Linking Words

, all the Australian universities increased the payment for bachelor’s and master’s degrees by 25 per cent

according to

Linking Words

ABC news in 2022. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

spend less money on local

travel

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, travelling abroad has benefits excessively.

That is

Linking Words

the reason why

people

Use synonyms

will

travel

Use synonyms

abroad more in the next decades.

enkhbat0923

Mar 17, 2023

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

domestic tourism
international travel
cultural exchange
national pride
affordability
convenience
ecotourism
heritage sites
local businesses
comfort zone

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