The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#people #five #work #region #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The given bar chart compares the

employees

in 5 fields of work in an undefined area in Australia in 2 different years: 2001 and 2008. In general,

people

who worked as sellers were

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

while

the lowest number of

employees

is farmers.

Moreover

, the changes between 2001 and 2008 were insignificant. In the field of sales, there were more than 150000 individuals who were selling goods in 2001,

this

figure increased to around 165000

employees

in 2008, and the number of

people

employed in sales was the highest figure in both years.

By contrast

, the number of farmers in 2001 was the lowest figure in

this

chart, there were about 20000

people

worked

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

this

field and decreased minimally in 2008.

People

who worked as accounters were 60000

employees

in 2001 and stayed unchanged in 2008. The numbers of

people

who worked in

computing

Correct article usage

the computing

show examples

and nursing fields were equal at around 50000

employees

in 2001, and there was a moderate increase in

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

two fields to reach about 65000 and 60000

people

respectively in 2008.

Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on Fri Mar 17 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words employees, people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

175 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

employment trends
workforce
sector
industry
agriculture
services
economic factors
technological advancements
policy changes
notable increases/decreases
statistical data
regional employment patterns
comparative analysis
percentage points
employment rate

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The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that the primary function of a university should be to prepare students for the working world. Others argue that the purpose of a university education is to provide knowledge for knowledge’s sake. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Scientists and news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyles prevent further damage. What are your views?

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.