Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
individuals
believe that
music
serves as an effective means of uniting
people
from diverse cultures and age groups. I absolutely agree with
this
view because
music
is a universal language and provides social connection.
To begin
with,
music
is often considered a universal language that transcends cultural barriers. Regardless of the specific genre or style, the emotional and expressive qualities of
music
can resonate with
people
from various backgrounds.
For instance
,
people
all around the world sing a popular song from one of the Korean bands, BTS, called “Dynamite”.
Moreover
,
music
provides a platform for social interaction. Whether through dancing, singing
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or simply listening together,
people
can bond over shared musical experiences.
This
shared enjoyment can help bridge generational gaps and create connections between
individuals
of different ages.
For example
, a multicultural
music
festival where
people
from various backgrounds gather to celebrate different genres of
music
. Attendees of all ages, ethnicities, and walks of life come together in a shared space to enjoy performances by artists representing diverse cultures. During the festival,
individuals
engage in conversations about the
music
, exchange thoughts on the performances, and even share personal stories related to specific songs. Meanwhile, some
people
argue that musical preferences vary widely, and what appeals to one group may not resonate with another. They believe that diverse tastes can create division rather than unity.
To sum up
, a commonly held belief is that
music
is a powerful tool for bringing together
individuals
of different cultures and age ranges. I wholeheartedly support
this
perspective because
music
is a universal language and fosters social connections.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
- Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Consider using more sophisticated linking words and paragraphing to enhance the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
- While the introduction and conclusion are present and clear, work on making your conclusion more impactful by summarizing your main arguments more succinctly.
coherence cohesion
- Develop your main points with a wider range of support, including a mix of personal, hypothetical, and real-world examples to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
- The response adequately addresses the task with clear ideas and a relevant position throughout the essay. For a higher score, ensure that the position is sustained without digression.
task achievement
- The ideas presented are clear and comprehensible, yet can be enhanced by further elaboration and explanation to deepen the reader's understanding.
task achievement
- Relevant examples are used, but their development can be improved. Include more specific examples that are clearly linked to your main points for a more effective argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: