IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In recent years, there has been an increase in bad behaviour, poor discipline and anti-social behaviour in schools. Tough measures and stricter punishments by schools, parents and others are necessary to stop this trend. What are the advantages and disadvantages of stricter discipline for young people?

#years #behaviour #discipline #schools #measures #punishments #parents #trend #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the
last
Linking Words
 few ,years there has been a rising trend in
behaviour
Use synonyms
 problems, discipline and rebellious
behaviour
Use synonyms
 in
schools
Use synonyms
. To make sure
this
Linking Words
 does not become a serious issue tough measures and retribution should be adopted by
schools
Use synonyms
, parents and society. In the impending ,essay I discuss both advantages and disadvantages of harsh discipline for young people. The major issue of harsh regulation is that sometimes it gets backfired. the pupil becomes more aggressive and intolerant of harsh punishment.
Instead
Linking Words
 of bringing behavioural ,changes they bring Changes unwanted changes in
pupils
Use synonyms
. In India, to cite an example, severe punishment is followed in
schools
Use synonyms
 whether privately run or govt run. It is often observed that
pupils
Use synonyms
 became intolerant of severe restraint. On other hand , Severe retribution is not at all practised in a few countries. In Norway,to Illustrate Harsh punishment is not at all followed. children are not beaten , slapped or ask to go out of classes. A soft approach is practised in
schools
Use synonyms
 in Norway. The effect of
this
Linking Words
 practice is quite surprising and there is a dramatic drop in violent conduct cases by
pupils
Use synonyms
. Most of the
pupils
Use synonyms
 will not only become soft but their attitude has changed dramatically. Arrogance, anger and rage kind of emotions are not observed among them.
To conclude
Linking Words
, It is far more advantageous to have a soft approach towards violent and intolerant
behaviour
Use synonyms
. It will change their mindset and In the long ,term
pupils
Use synonyms
 will behave nicely . There will change in their
behaviour
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by yash334 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: