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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten vears. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#percentage #children #society #ten #vears #effects #trend
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Over the past 10 years, western societies have seen an increase of approximately 20% in the number of
children
Use synonyms
 who are overweight. The purpose of
this
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 essay is to list some of the main causes and effects of
this
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 worrying situation. In the
last
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 few years,
children
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 have adopted bad eating
habits
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.
For example
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, it is common to go out and eat junk food at places like McDonald's, KFC, Taco Bell, etc. These types of fast-food chains offer unhealthy meals and provide few nutrients.
In addition
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,
children
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 in western societies have adopted unhealthy eating
habits
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 at home like consuming
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a lot of
sugars
Fix the agreement mistake
sugar
show examples
 and fatty foods. One clear example of
this
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 is the habit of eating ice cream at night as a dessert.
As a result
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 of these bad
habits
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, kids are gaining more weight than they should. These unhealthy
habits
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 have affected the physical and mental health of
children
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.
For example
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, over the
last
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 10 years, more
children
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 have suffered from previously uncommon health problems like diabetes, bone issues, hypertension, and strokes. What's more,
children
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 became more prone to bullying at school, which has resulted in several mental issues like depression, anxiety, or eating disorders because other kids are making fun of the overweight
children
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's bodies and making them feel uncomfortable with themselves.
To sum up
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, in western society, the number of
children
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 who are overweight has increased by approximately 20
percent
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per cent
show examples
 because of the adoption of unhealthy
habits
Use synonyms
 that have caused them to gain a lot of weight and
consequently
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 led to physical and mental issues.
Submitted by erickr.arias on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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