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Band 6.5

Some students take one year off berween school and university .Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#students #year #berween #school #university
Taking a gap year before turning to
university
 is one of the choices of many
students
 these days. Looking at some sides, it can be clearly seen that the advantages of
this
 trend extremely surpass its disadvantages.
This
 decision has a number of disadvantages for pupils. The primary drawback is that it may result in a hazy future for those taking a year off.
Students
 may be concerned about what they will do,
for instance
, if they choose not to attend
university
 after high school. On top of that, they may struggle with the fact that it is hard to catch up with friends when coming back to school. It is not easy when
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 all of
friends
Correct pronoun usage
your friends
show examples
 turn to a higher level, and only yourself stuck in the beginning.
However
, we cannot deny the benefits of it surpass the drawbacks listed above. Taking a gap year can bring a diversity of experiences to those choosing
this
 plan. They can have a job, travel around the country, or do volunteer work, and those activities will support people
get
Wrong verb form
in getting
show examples
 more valuable lessons in life.
Moreover
,
this
 one decision can be an effective way to form new relationships, which is extremely good for the development of each person.
For example
, when
students
 travel to other places, they will get to know other people who come from different cultures and have different customs.
Therefore
, they can be friends and strengthen
this
 relationship deeply.
Last
 but not least,
students
 obviously have a relaxation
time
 after fighting with the graduation exam.
This
 will be the
time
 for them to pursue their certain dreams or have a
truly
Change the word
true
show examples
 holiday in their break
time
 before going back to
university
. In conclusion, I have to admit that the advantages of
this
 choice will definitely outweigh its disadvantages in some ways. Taking a break
time
 after high school or continuing to
university
 is each person's choice, as long as they do not regret or struggle with
this
 after going back to study.
Submitted by vananhtran01112 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the topic well, presenting both advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. However, it could benefit from a more balanced discussion highlighting specific disadvantages more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear overall structure, with a well-developed introduction and conclusion. The points are supported with examples, but there could be improved coherence in connecting the ideas and discussing the disadvantages in more depth to enhance the overall cohesion.

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