Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, there is a common view that the main goal for university graduates is to learn applicable knowledge and abilities for their eventual career. At the same time,
however
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, others argue that institutions of higher education should primarily focus on academic curriculum. In
this
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essay, I will review both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion.  
To begin
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with, there is no doubt that universities should help their graduates to be prepared for the emplyoment, and providing job-related expertise is a good way to achieve that goal. When students know how to work efficiently, they will have a better chance to make a living, get a promotion and have
a
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apply
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prosperous career opportunities.
Moreover
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, as companies have more skilled workers who can boost their productivity, they will get better profits
which
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, which
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could be used to fund educational institutions , thereby cultivating a more professional workforce working for them.
Consequently
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,
this
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approach creates what can be described as a triple-win situation for the academy , its graduates and corporations.  
On the other hand
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, knowledge itself is
also
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the foundation of any practical subject .
For example
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, if a doctor didn’t study theoretical knowledge
such
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as biology or chemistry, he could hardly understand pharmacology comprehensively, which possibly leads to a less effective treatment plan
while
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counselling patients.
Furthermore
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, some university students who want to become scholars or professors in a certain field will benefit from a pure knowledge-based curriculum, and it deepens their understanding of specific academic subjects. Admittedly,
however
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, these aspiring academics are often few and far between.   To summarise , there is no doubt that post-secondary institutions should value knowledge-based learning because it is the basis of academia. At the same time, job-related competencies
also
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play important roles , as most graduates’ aspirations are to become useful and qualified workers or professionals. In the final analysis,
therefore
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, one can conclude that the college should design the syllabus covering both pure-knowledge and work-related skills .

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the end. You say both are important, but say more clearly which side is stronger for you.
task response
Add one more clear example for each main idea. This will make your points feel more full and strong.
task response
Some ideas are good but not fully explained. Try to show how and why each point leads to the result.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. To make it better, link some ideas more smoothly inside each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with a few long sentences. Shorter sentences can make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used well, but a few are a bit overused. Use simple links and make sure each one fits naturally.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view at the end.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic and the ideas are mostly relevant.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a logical order, so the reader can follow your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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