IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that every human being can create art . Others think only people born with the ability can create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, a number of reckon that every person or
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
show examples
 can create
art
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
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, others opine that
people
Use synonyms
 who
born
Add a missing verb
are born
show examples
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 ability of
art
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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only can
do
Correct pronoun usage
do it
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. In my opinion, common and talented
people
Use synonyms
 both can create
art
Use synonyms
 as professionals jobs.Which I shall discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, owning to several reasons that emphasise, all individuals can make
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 as a career. Primarily, with the help of hard work and practice. To elaborate, there is no doubt that common have to take
class
Add an article
a class
the class
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
Use synonyms
,where they can practice
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
Use synonyms
such
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 as painters like to make paintings in order to make
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 more beautiful and unique. By doing
this
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, individuals are improving day after day and they are able to sell in
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
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 of paintings.
Thus
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, it leads to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fame in the world and
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
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 money for their basic needs.
On the other hand
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, there are some aspects that determine, only possible for those
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 had talent from born to create
art
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. To a greater extent reason is that undeniably,
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 had a plus point or natural ability. They didn't face any hardships
between
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their career and they
get
Wrong verb form
got
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 jobs easily.
In addition
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, it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some consequences like
aggressive
Correct article usage
an aggressive
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 attitude and don't care
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
social
Replace the word
society
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. So , they can
failed
Change the verb form
fail
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 in real life because struggle teaches
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
great lessons
such
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 as forgiveness,love friendship and so on.
As a result
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, it leads to some negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
.
To conclude
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, it is clear from the above discussion that
although
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 there are abundant benefits of
create
Change the verb form
creating
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 as a profession.
However
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, it
also
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 had some drawbacks that
not
Add a missing verb
were not
show examples
 deniable in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.

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task response
Your essay addresses the topic but lacks depth and clarity in your arguments. Make sure to fully develop each point and provide clear examples and explanations to support your views.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and coherent logical structure. Work on organizing your ideas in a more logical and cohesive manner to improve the overall flow of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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