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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people from rural areas moving to the cities. What problem can this cause? What can be solutions?

#people #areas #cities
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It has been universally accepted that urbanization is escalating at an alarming rate.There are a plethora of reasons for the same and its possible solutions can be suggested too which are discussed as follows.
To begin
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 with,in regard to the above-mentioned trouble ,the major reason which can be stated is unemployment in rural areas.A large number of people move from village areas to major cities in order to search for a better job,in which they can have a successful and financially well-settled career.
Moreover
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, there are plenty of other reasons which include high transportation,more education opportunities
and
Correct word choice
apply
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well-equipped hospitals etc.but
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
poorly planned urbanization leads to congestion,higher crime rates,pollution,increased levels of inequality and social exclusion.
for example
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, if a large number of communities are moving to a city may lead to congestion in housing
as well as
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 on the roads
due to
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 the increased number of vehicles.
Due to
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this
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 congested environment increase figure of slums can develop and the rate of pollution and health issues may increase,
However
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,seeing the dilemma with a brighter mind,many solutions can be helpful to curb
this
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 menace.One of the solutions is to combat poverty by promoting economic development and job creation.
For instance
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,by increasing job opportunities people may have a socially and economically well-settled life.The second solution is that implementing proper waste disposal and planting trees can help to reduce different types of pollution and reduce the health issues related to that.
To conclude
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,solving a global issue like urbanization is not easy but with the joint efforts of the community, control can be taken over the dispute with the aforementioned suggested measures.I believe that everyone should come forward to
migrate
Verb problem
resolve
show examples
this
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 issue. \
Submitted by sandhyarenjith789 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main idea and summarize the key points.
task achievement
Support main points with specific examples and details to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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