IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

There is a tendency among the
city
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planners
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 in numerous cities to separate from each other and manage places of
shops
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,
schools
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, offices and homes.
While
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 there are some drawbacks associated with
this
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 attitude I think the main benefits are more substantial. On the one hand, a primary advantage of separating and locating essential
areas
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 in a
city
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in particular
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 regions may be related to individual time-saving.
As a result
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 of traffic jams in cities, people need more time to reach their destination. Presume
city
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planners
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 manage similar office
areas
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 and similar buildings that have the same activities like
schools
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,
shops
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 and homes separately in one place, people can manage their time to reach all of their activities in a working day. A
further
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 benefit of
this
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 subject is that
city
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planners
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 can create
areas
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 that are architecturally significant. When particular places like offices,
shops
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,
schools
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 and houses are separated, it is a neat way to create a beautiful
city
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 and
also
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 draw thousands of tourists to see the
areas
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.
On the other hand
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, a potential disadvantage of
this
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 subject is maybe the high budget that it needs. As everyone knows, doing these huge actions needs many financial resources to relocate or maybe destroy and construct.
City
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planners
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also
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 face many challenges with their
city
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 dwellers to convince them to do
this
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 because these people think all of the places like
shops
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,
schools
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, offices and houses must be next to each other for their convenience. They want all of these
areas
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 in one place.
However
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, I am not convinced by these insights because the advancement of technology and the advancement of cities need more spaces and more facilities and these
also
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 need enormous activities to manage them. In conclusion, it is true that separating these four
areas
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 would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
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, in my view, its positive effects in terms of individuals’ time management
as well as
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 converting the
city
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 to look beautiful override the downsides.

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task achievement
Enhance the use of specific examples to support arguments. More concrete examples can strengthen your points and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Use transitions between ideas to improve the essay flow. Linking phrases and transitional words can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize key arguments.
task achievement
You present a balanced argument by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Segregation
  • Urban areas
  • Residential
  • Commercial
  • Industrial
  • Systematic development
  • Amenity provision
  • Urban management
  • Pollution
  • Quality of life
  • Transportation costs
  • Environmental impact
  • Social segregation
  • Amenities
  • Services
  • Income neighborhoods
  • Vibrant
  • Accessible
  • Travel times
  • Social interaction
  • Mixed-use developments
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Walking
  • Cycling
  • Public transport
  • Urban sprawl
  • Green spaces
  • Agricultural land
  • Biodiversity
  • Business hubs
  • Investments
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic growth
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