Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Spending
the
Correct article usage
apply
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prime
time
on
phones
is
the
Correct article usage
a
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crucial matter nowadays. In the contemporary
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
it can clearly be seen that the majority of the new generation devote
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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most
time
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
their daily life
on
Change preposition
to
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their mobile
phones
.
This
essay will
further
discuss both benefits and drawbacks with appropriate examples
reaching
Change the verb form
to reach
show examples
a logical conclusion.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
bad sides of the
adults
Change noun form
adult's
adults'
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lifetime which
is
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are
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being sent on their cell
phones
mostly,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can influence
to
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apply
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their education
firstly
. Obviously, how much
time
they spend their
time
on their
phones
, so much they lose their opportunity to learn and study.
For example
,
due to
the many interesting things on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
Add a comma
,media
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nobody can stop consuming
this
fun. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
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it can
bee
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
a little dangerous for youngsters to be with their
phones
much
time
.
On
Change preposition
In
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the
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apply
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other
words
Add a comma
,words
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the advantages of children’s
time
with mobile
phones
can lead to good things as well. It is widely known that nowadays gadgets
such
as
phones
have many useful features.
For instance
, students can use them to know something new like a language or programs via
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online courses as there are many available on
web sites
Correct your spelling
websites
show examples
and
you tube
Correct your spelling
youtube
show examples
. So it is not just a negative position that young people spend most of their
time
on
phones
. In conclusion,
while
I can not ignore the bad sides of children’s
time
spending
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
on their smartphones, I believe that it can bring benefits to their future as well.
Submitted by feya9104 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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