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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Wealth and material belongings often measure the success that a person has. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#wealth #belongings #measure #success #person
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In the modern world, money is most efficient
to
Change preposition
for
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human
Add an article
a human
the human
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being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 for their day
today
Correct your spelling
to day
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life
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
 people tend to
measure
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success
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 by wealth and materialistic belongings.
In
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This
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this
Linking Words
easy
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essay
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 will discuss the topic and explain in
details
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detail
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with
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apply
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my opinion.
To begin
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, a
person
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’s basic needs are
foods
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food
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, clothes and shelter. Many will be needed to achieve these targets in human
life
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.
Thus
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 people intend to
measure
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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success
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 with wealth.
Therefore
Linking Words
success
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 is depending
on
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from
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person
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 to
person
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.
For instance
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, a student might be happy to achieve
A
Correct article usage
an A
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grade in studies
while
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mountain
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a mountain
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climber
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climbers
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go
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goes
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 for tracking as happiness. Both
equality
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equalities
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cause
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causes
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 joy.
Thus
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 difficult to
measure
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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success
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.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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 poor entrepreneur can be more successful with less income than a rich businessman with the profits he gets. The majority of
community
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the community
a community
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 might feel proud of the achievements when they aimed for.
Nevertheless
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, we cannot deny that money is useless but there is no hard and fast rule.
For
Linking Words
instance
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,instance
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 a popular actor who feel to purchase numerous cars
as
Correct your spelling
is
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 a
shows
Correct the article-noun agreement
show
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 of strength.
In
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For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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 famous Bollywood actor
Sharuk
Correct your spelling
Shahrukh
 Khan has
range
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a range
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 of
all the
Correct determiner usage
apply
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modern cars and
sport
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sports
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 vehicles. Meanwhile, showing wealth or richness cannot be
Use synonyms
measure
Wrong verb form
measured
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 through materials. A successful
person
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 comes
accordingly
Linking Words
their
Change preposition
to their
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 thoughts. In conclusion,
my
Change preposition
in my
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 opinion achievements can
be vary
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vary
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, depending
human
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on human
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 to human.
Therefore
Linking Words
success
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 cannot
be
Change the verb form
be measuring
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measure
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what
Change preposition
by what
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Use synonyms
person
Correct article usage
a person
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 achieved
by
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apply
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their
life
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 goals. After all, many is a sign of dedication well they cannot be calculated as a
success
Use synonyms
 in human
life
Use synonyms
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