IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You are moving out of your rental apartment. Write a letter to your neighbour to say goodbye. In your letter say 1. when and where do you move? 2. why do you move out? 3. how do you feel about it?

#apartment #neighbour #goodbye #move
Dear Mr. Sharma, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to say goodbye to you as I am going to move to another city. It has been almost five years since I am living in
this
 community. I was so blessed to have neighbours like you, as you were available for me whenever I
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 you. With
this
, I wanted to inform you that I am planning to move next week on 2nd July to Kitimat from Surrey. The reason why I am moving is the rising prices of groceries and rental apartments in Surrey
due to
 the increase in population. As I am the only one working in the house and looking after my parents.
Therefore
, it has become really hard to meet the ends. I am feeling nervous as it is very difficult to settle down in a new place with
this
 am
also
 excited to meet new people and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 new bonds. Best wishes, Prabhjit Kaur
Submitted by prabhjitkaur02124 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains only one main idea and related details to improve logical flow.
task achievement
While the letter answers all parts of the prompt, providing a bit more detail about how you are preparing for the move could enhance the completeness of the response.
task achievement
You might also consider revising your language to avoid repetitive use of common expressions, such as switching 'looking after' to 'caring for' for variety.
task achievement
The letter addresses all parts of the task, providing clear reasons for the move, the feelings associated with it, and specific details on timing and location.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate and polite, maintaining a supportive and friendly relationship with the neighbor.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriately courteous and personal.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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