IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Success is often measured in wealth and material belongings. Does wealth measure success? What makes a successful person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Throughout the entire human history individuals’
success
Use synonyms
 within societies has been measured by tangible criteria. Mostly because it is easier. Indeed, the easiest way to assess one's
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
 value is to measure their wealth.
However
Linking Words
, many people would list as relevant other aspects to
weight
Correct your spelling
weigh
show examples
 someone else
success
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 as career (working achievement) and network capacity as well. So, should we reframe
this
Linking Words
 common belief or it is the right way as it has always been? To start with, the more you own the more it means that you have found your path in
this
Linking Words
 life,
that
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
 you made it.
In addition
Linking Words
, as long as you are becoming richer you will always be increasingly regarded as a distinctive person.
Thus
Linking Words
, it does not matter in which way, legal or not, crushing other's feelings and personal esteem, stealing or scheming.
Above all
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the day, what really
matter
Change the verb form
matters
show examples
 is how much you're able to show off.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most people see
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working achievements
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
success
Use synonyms
 measure. Striking an important deal for your firm, winning an important cause in court or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
making
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
show examples
 discovery are all indicators of
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
success
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of
events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
show examples
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 into account a different side of it, namely, working hard in order to reach the top and be the best at what you are doing.
To sum up
Linking Words
, public opinion will put you constantly on the exam chair to evaluate what you have achieved up to date.
Although
Linking Words
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 feel good
to run
Change the verb form
running
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 hamster wheel one should ask himself whether to
purse
Correct your spelling
pursue
show examples
success
Use synonyms
 to appease and please others or for their own personal satisfaction.
Submitted by filippofagnani7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: