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Band 6.5

In some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if the try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#culture #children #try
Today, many
children
 who come from different countries are growing up with the belief of achievement of your dream, if they get involved in their interests.
It is clear that
 there are some drawbacks to
this
 approach in childhood, but the benefits overcome always them in my view.
To begin
, dreams could not easy to get to and they might be impossible to realize.
As a consequence
, the
child
 would focus more on his failure and be less confident.
In addition
,
this
 approach could provide a sense of stress and sadness to a
child
.
Moreover
, getting involved requires the sacrifice of a part of leisure time.
For instance
, many sportives and scientists who obtained success in their
life
, have spent time mainly in their studies or training since they were a
child
.
However
, putting himself in a dream or achievement for
children
 is a key thought which will help improve
life
 in adult age. In fact, it provides new experiences and organizations for the
children
 preparing them for adult challenges.
Although
 a
child
 might not achieve what he dreams, the thought of
this
 experience helps certainly him in his
life
.
Furthermore
, many scientific findings proved the importance of dreams in order to encourage a
child
 to go over his limits. In conclusion, following the reasons of the
last
 paragraph, I think
this
 approach to
children
's growth has a positive far reaching effect on their
life
 which overcome its drawbacks.
Submitted by cimbo95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ambitious
  • work ethic
  • perseverance
  • self-confidence
  • resilience
  • positive mindset
  • success
  • empowerment
  • independence
  • unrealistic expectations
  • pressure
  • failure
  • self-doubt
  • external factors
  • limitations
  • burnout
  • excessive stress
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