IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Do we need classic art in the 21st century as a form of entertainment

#art #st #century #form #entertainment
From the very beginning, the 21st century has been almost synonymous with technological development and the digital. Though
this
 allows for advantages
such
 as a much more globalised and interconnected society, the question arises: Where does
art
 fit in and do we need it?
Firstly
, I think that
art
 is very important. Since prehistory,
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
thousands of years ago, humanity has steadily produced and consumed
art
.
In addition
, the appearance and subject matter of artworks have changed
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 role as a crucial aspect of humanity has remained constant. Another advantage is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 after the pandemic has only emphasized the importance of
art
Replace the word
artistic
show examples
 creation and consumption in our everyday lives as we seek increasing forms of entertainment and escape.
On the other hand
, the internet and social media have presented a wealth of possibilities for all fields.
Also
,
art
 in a digitised world has made visual culture much more accessible
far-flung
Change preposition
to far-flung
show examples
 global audiences and has provided a new platform for the promotion of
art
 and artist. One disadvantage of it runs the risk of desensitizing us by overwhelming and
oversaturing
Correct your spelling
oversaturating
 our corpus of
art
 experiences.
To sum up
, I think that technology can provide new
art
 opportunities and challenges and it is a balance of
this
 that needs to be addressed for
art
 to fully flourish and make its desired impact.
Submitted by taniadim74 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: