IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

ITELS Writing Task 2 Model Answer: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, buyers tend to spend their money a lot on different stuff and that could till the amount of unwanted advertising and what it has of power. In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will be discussing my opinion and give examples for them. advertising is the most effective method to promote and sell your product online or in stores. Reality sometimes does not meet expectations for a lot of people who are finding the best solution for their problem and
that is
 a known fact.
However
, we as human beings should
also
 seek always the truth wherever it is possible. So that we do not buy something we never use.
Moreover
, in these modern days, we could try the marketplace to determine what is really wanted in our needs and life requirements.
Also
, media companies have the total right to put their customer showings on the screen in streets or schools or whatever they want unless it is harming anything surrounding it or unhealthy for the environment.
For instance
, billboard signs in multiple stations around the city and suburbs.
On the other hand
, rules and regulations of government could be effective in these situations. In conclusion, the national impact of publicity is not that harmful in my regards of the subject matter some will say the other way around and it is totally understandable to different points of view. In the end,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with the statement above and my argument is that every company has full control of its business plan and we love to support an independent society.
Submitted by abood291a on

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task achievement
Your main points are present but they need to be more clearly developed and supported with specific examples. Try to provide more concrete evidence for your arguments to make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay is somewhat coherent but could benefit from better organization. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use more linking words to show the connection between your ideas.
language accuracy
Make sure to proofread your essay to avoid small mistakes, such as capitalization errors and missing articles. This will make your writing clearer and more professional.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This provides a good framework for your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay shows an understanding of the prompt and presents a clear opinion on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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