IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some think they can use as much fresh water as they want, but others say governments should limit water use because it's not endless. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #water #governments #limit
The protection and conservation of environmental sources are always debated between
people
. Some believe that fresh
water
 can be used as much as they want, but others argue authorities and governments should reduce the available
water
 consumption because of its limitations. In my opinion, I think governments should reclean more fresh
water
instead
 of limiting it. In the following paragraph, I will discuss both views in detail and give my own perspective.
To begin
 with,
people
 have the
right
 to think they can
use
 fresh
water
 unlimitedly, but
this
 may lead to another problem,
this
 will cause the lack of fresh
water
.
for instance
 when
water
 is not enough
then
 activities in producing electronic fields can be affected, so that the very residents ' living will get bad. In my own view, they should be still allowed to
use
 a large of freshwater resources, but I think
people
 should consume it for the
right
 purposes and save reasonably.
On the other hand
, limiting the
use
 of
water
 will irritate a group of
people
, because, each year, individuals have to turn in an amount of money for taxes which involve society, roads, electronic supply, or even
water
 to
use
 these sources,
thus
, they feel reasonable to
use
 comfortably the amount exsiting.
For example
, in Vietnam
this
 year, native
people
 usually cut off the electricity temporarily to fix and reduce the heavy loads that the nation was suffering, which actually caused an aggressive wave on the internet and
then
 caused a lot of difficulties in living. So,
people
 know it will be the same with
water
.
Then
, it is quite awkward to cut off the source of
water
. So
instead
, the government should accelerate research on re-cleaning polluted
water
 and have a better plan for the preservation of
water
. To summarize,
although
 they have the
right
 to
use
 it as they want, they should
use
 it for the
right
 purposes and conserve it well.
besides
 cutting off the
water
 may cause an aggressive wave and
then
 may cause a lot of difficulties in residents ' living, so they should invest more money in researching re-cleaning polluted
water
 and have a better plan for preservation of
water
.
Submitted by nguyenhuyhoa1506 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas progress logically from one to the next. Use cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively.
task achievement
It's important to fully develop your arguments with clear and specific examples. Aim to have at least one clear example per view discussed that directly supports your point.
task achievement
Remember to stay on topic and directly address the essay prompt. Ensure your essay discusses both views and your own opinion in a balanced way.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to convey your points more effectively and to demonstrate linguistic range, which can increase your score for grammatical range and accuracy.

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