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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #water #consumption #two #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line Graph provides data about
liquid
Correct article usage
the liquid
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
water
, which are in use in the world from 1900 to 2000, with
table
Add an article
a table
show examples
 indicating
water
 consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000.
Overall
, the main information
present
Replace the word
presented
show examples
 Graph , where data about Global uses of
water
 has been divided
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
 three sectors
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Agriculture , Industrial and Domestic uses
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 several years. Another part of information can be found in
table
Add an article
the table
show examples
 ,where
indicate
Replace the word
indication
show examples
 about uses was given in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 about two countries.
To begin
 with, generally Agricultural remained the most consuming industry during
a whole periods
Correct the article-noun agreement
whole periods
a whole period
show examples
. It took about 500
km
 of
water
 in 1900 and
this
 line increased dramatically to around 3000
km
 till 2000 years.
Interesting
Add an article
The interesting
An interesting
show examples
 factor is that from 1900
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different types of
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 under 100
km
 till 1960. But the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 for Industrial
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 climbed sharply from
this
 period to 2000. Domestic use experienced slowly climbing and levelled under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
400
km
 in 2000. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the countries, Brazil had
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
show examples
 population
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
176
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and
it is clear that
 the
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
show examples
 of
water
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 much more than in
Democratic
Correct article usage
the Democratic
show examples
 Republic of Congo. An irrigated land
Brazil
Change preposition
in Brazil
show examples
 reached 26500
km
 and 359 m of
water
 per person. The inhabitants of Congo
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 less than 53 million and 8m of
water
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
per person.
Submitted by kamolovaruhsona4 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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