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Band 5

Some people believe online reading material should only be used for a cild to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #cild
Nowadays
mor
Correct your spelling
more
most
people
 have one or two
cars
. Fortunately, developing countries improve
standard
Correct pronoun usage
their standard
show examples
 of living
due to
this
people
 can buy expensive stuff
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 satisfy the demand. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 there is a
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of
this
 technology, but
on the other hand
, there are some drawbacks and
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 which must be discussed and
soled
Correct your spelling
solved
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 both sides will be explained and supported with examples. First of all, speaking about purchasing
cars
 for the first
time
 it is worth noting, that society
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 a
lot
 of benefits.
For instance
, they can stop wasting a
lot
 of
time
 on the way to work
due to
this
people
 have free
time
 which can spend on the family.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 society become
more smart
Replace the words
smarter
show examples
 because they have more free
time
Correct word choice
than then
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 don’t have
car
Add an article
a car
show examples
.
However
,
this
 topic has disadvantages which can not be ignored.
Firstly
,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gasoline. Unfortunately, gasoline
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 resource for society. It depends on economics, so
this
 product has
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 price.
Also
, it is worth noting
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
 with details
cars
. Every six months
cars
Change to a singular noun
car
show examples
 should be checked
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 technical drawbacks. Usually, after
inspections
Add a comma
,inspections
show examples
people
 give a
lot
 of money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 repair
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. So some
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 sell
cars
 because they do not have enough money.
To sum up
, I want to say, that
cars
this
 is good
investing
Replace the word
investment
show examples
 for
myself
Correct pronoun usage
me
show examples
. You save a
lot
 of free
time
 which can spend
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 family. But
on the other hand
,
this
 is
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 problem. So,
cars
this
 is
expensive
Add an article
an expensive
show examples
 product. I think, that before buying
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
.
People
 should think about
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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