IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart provides information about how families in a country spent weekly income in both 1968 and in 2018.

The bar chart provides information about how families in a country spent weekly income in both 1968 and in 2018.
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The given bar chart provides information about the proportion of spending money weakly in 8 different groups in 1968 and 2018
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, housing, transport and leisure have experienced an upward trend,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 food, fuel-power, clothing-footwear and personal goods have shown a downward trend.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the household goods group has not changed over the given time period. When we look at the graph in detail, housing spending increased almost two times which is 10%in 1968 and about 17% in 2018, respectively. Transport costs increased, and the payment reached approximately 15% weakly. Leisure cost was almost 10% in 1968, but in 2018, the payment increased to more than 20%. At
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 time, the household equipment fees did not change, which is about 7.5% weakly. When we look at the rest of the graph in detail, the food budget dropped sharply from 35% to more than 15% over time.
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, fuel-power and personal equipment budgets were about the same in 2018,
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 less than 5% respectively.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the clothing and footwear group dropped to half,
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 5% in 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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