Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In our modern
life
Add a comma
,life
the
number of individuals Correct article usage
a
believe
that humans started to rely Change the verb form
believes
to
each other, Change the preposition
on
upon
while
other people
claim that being independent is the main aspect of each person. From my point of view, the first way is the most common, as people
are able to dwell happily by being in community
where everyone is ready to help each other.
Nowadays we are living in Add an article
a community
the
world where everyone’s main aspect of their life is having Correct article usage
a
someone
who always
with them. Because there would be Add a missing verb
is always
the
number of different situations when we have Correct article usage
a
someone
difficulties to get
out Change the verb form
getting
from
them. Among Change preposition
of
humans
Add a comma
,humans
this
viewpoint is turning into another side, which means being dependent on someone
is the
negative impact. Correct article usage
a
This
viewpoint can be recommended by people
, especially who
had enough experience in the past and that kind of Correct pronoun usage
those who
people
always try to explain it to everybody. For example
, what if there will be any difficult situations when helpless individuals are alone, they definitely will fall down if they were always helped by someone
else.
However
, living independent
can be Change the adjective
independently
also
real pain for many people
who sometimes do not happy with their life
conditions, with problems which they might face and difficulties which always seem impossible to get outReplace the word
living
.
Humans believe thatChange preposition
of.
,
depending on each other is too beneficial, even though it Remove the comma
apply
guaranties
the Correct your spelling
guarantees
the
real value of lifestyle. There would be numerous factors when Remove the redundancy
apply
people
sometimes rely on their clothes relatives or friends which makes them feel more comfortable and less stressed about their issues. Being dependent on another person is one of the main theme
on social media too. Change to a plural noun
themes
For instance
, the biggest international news company BBC Inc. on January 22 2023
year published their article about relying on each other. The main interesting part of their work Add a comma
, 2023,
were
the words, “Be always ready to rely on each other if you feel that” which means they will able to make their own mood happy.
In conclusion, we are living in Correct subject-verb agreement
was
the
world where Correct article usage
a
people
think that,
being independent is the most valuable asset, Remove the comma
apply
while
others say vice versa, which means they should be ready to look after each other and I think the second way is admired by the number of individuals.Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
