IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A reason that handy portable devices are popular, the utilization of smartphones is increasing, and at the same time
people
Use synonyms
 tend to use social media prevalently for
communication
Use synonyms
. I truly agree that it has several positive improvements in society
while
Linking Words
 others argue that social media leads to many disadvantages. On the one hand,
communication
Use synonyms
 through social platforms is very common as it provides a convenient lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
 is because easy internet access allows us to keep in touch with our long-distance relationships between friends, families, partners, children, and teachers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, bonding plays a critical part in any relationship,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to build it stronger by keeping
communication
Use synonyms
 virtual if they are apart in different countries.
This
Linking Words
 could be an effective way rather than setting time aside to meet in person, which
additionally
Linking Words
 saves cost and time. Particularly, children can reach out to their teachers anytime in order to have a discussion about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schoolwork or assignments.
Hence
Linking Words
,
communication
Use synonyms
 through various channels could
also
Linking Words
 advocate mental support for each other, especially
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are facing difficulties.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that social media creates negative effects as it allows
people
Use synonyms
 to post their life status.
This
Linking Words
 might be because the majority of users are posting that they are living their best lives with pictures, which might include high-end products or luxury places, which cause lower self-esteem for some audiences. Most importantly, it would impact mental health issues
such
Linking Words
 as depression and insecurity since it delivers wrong messages to some users. Another negative effect is that internet users might have discussions over confidential personal cases through social platforms, it is likely to be leaked out if the security of an account is weak.
Consequently
Linking Words
, scammers could use it as blackmail, and
then
Linking Words
 the case might become a cyberbullying case which is against the cyber law.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 having virtual
communication
Use synonyms
 has many drawbacks, I strongly believe that the benefits for individuals are that not only is it convenient and effective, but it
also
Linking Words
 provides a sound place where we can ease our stress anytime.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
For task response, although you have addressed the topic effectively, ensure that all aspects of the task are thoroughly examined. Consider exploring counterarguments in more depth to provide a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to maintain the logical flow by ensuring smooth transitions between points. While it is quite clear, employing more signposting language might further assist the reader to follow your arguments easily.
task achievement
Great job on comprehensively addressing the topic's positive and negative aspects.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Strong use of specific examples and reasons to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant communication
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • data privacy
  • data breaches
  • mental health issues
  • excessive use
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • feelings of loneliness
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • public misinformation
  • societal harm
  • shared interests
  • engaged
  • foster communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: