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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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Nowadays,
There
Fix capitalization
there
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 are many food and drink
products
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 that contain an excessive amount of
sugar
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 in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
This
Linking Words
 often
lead
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leads
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people
Use synonyms
 to suffer from medical complications. The prices of sugary
products
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 should be increased to avoid
such
Linking Words
health
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 problems.
However
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, I strongly disagree that increasing prices will make
people
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to
Change the verb form
apply
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consume less
sugar
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.
Firstly
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,
People
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 consume moderate
sugar
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 in their daily routines to maintain good
health
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.
Sugar
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 intakes are uncontrollably high by individuals during special occasions like Marriage functions, Birthday parties, and Festivals.
Moreover
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, Consuming
high
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a high
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level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of
sugar
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 frequently causes many
health
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 problems. Senior citizens are restricted to eat sweets often, because of their high levels of
sugar
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 content in
blood
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the blood
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, Parents should not allow their children to consume a wide amount of
sugar
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in
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on
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their
Change the word
a
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 daily basis to avoid stomach aches.
Secondly
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,
People
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 nowadays are addicted to sweets and desserts. They can't imagine their weekends without a doughnut or a piece of cake.
Furthermore
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, almost more than half of communities are earning competitive salaries in recent times. Despite overpricing sugary
products
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,
People
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 won't hesitate to purchase their favourite
products
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 with additional expenditures.
For instance
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,
People
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 nowadays hesitate to look after their
health
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 problems, they are concerned more about enjoying the current situation.
People
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 who work from home, often consume drinks which are not good for their
health
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. In conclusion, Foods and drinks with high levels of
sugar
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 should be completely avoided by
people
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 to live healthier and increasing
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
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 of sweets are not a proper solution. To mitigate
this
Linking Words
, Awareness
compaings
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campaigns
campaign
complaints
 should be raised among
public
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the public
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 to inject pieces of knowledge about
negative
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the negative
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 impacts of eating sugary
products
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.
Submitted by ananthaprasanth on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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