IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. State your own opinion in about 300 words. Give illustrations and examples.

#people #information #research #business #world #illustrations
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern society, the spread of
information
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 is very
conveniently
Change the word
convenient
show examples
 and quickly over the
world
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. The valuable
information
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 created by some people is
easily
Replace the adverb
easy
show examples
 to be shared
to
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with
show examples
 others. So, is it necessary to share as much
information
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 as possible? There is a critical discussion about it. The development in academic and scientific
research
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 needs more
information
Use synonyms
 sharing. The
scholar
Replace the word
scholarly
show examples
 literature is the most important vehicle for promoting academic
research
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. In the
research
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 of Piwowar (2018), the paywall on the web limited
access
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 to three-quarters of
scholar
Replace the word
scholarly
show examples
 literature, which means it needs to cost a lot to
access
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 the paywalled journal.
Therefore
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, small institutions and these in the developing
world
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 often have poor
access
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 to the literature, where the development
in
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of
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 academic
research
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 is restricted.
In contrast
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 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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“restricted
access
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”, “open
access
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” helps to obtain the article freely. In
Buehling
Correct your spelling
Buehler
Building
, K.’s
research
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 in 2022, the Sci-Hub, as the greatest free pirate website in the
world
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 to provide mass and public
access
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 to
research
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 papers, assisted to increase the number of authors of academic
research
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 from less-developed countries and regions. In
business
Add an article
the business
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world
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,
information
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 is the source of profit which should be shared in limitation. Before the date of 10th March 2023, no one would believe the Silicon Valley
Bank
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 will go bankrupt. Over the past few months, the depositor became more and more anxious and
panic
Wrong verb form
panicked
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 as the
information
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of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 failing business
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
show examples
 spread
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 the market. Eventually, the
bank
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 went bankrupt
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
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 more and more depositors withdrew their funds from the
bank
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.
That is
Linking Words
 why the
bank
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 usually
do
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does
show examples
 not share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative
information
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to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the market.
For private
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Private
show examples
information
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, it is not allowed to be shared in an arbitrary manner. The private
information
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include
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includes
show examples
 name, address, phone number,
bank
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 account and so forth. It is very dangerous to be shared as it is possible to be used by bad guys to do illegal matters.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is important to share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable
information
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others, but the extent of sharing depends on the different
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Submitted by louis.pang.sa on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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