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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Taking a
gap
Use synonyms
 year is prevailing among youths, especially between high school and tertiary
education
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both pros and downsides of
this
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 trend
along with
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 some examples and in the final paragraph, will present my own perception of
this
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 matter.
To begin
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 with, the very first plus point of the off-year is that it gives enough preparation time to tutees. To explain, some majors like engineering or data science are required to take short courses before entering those fields because doing so, gives them in-depth background knowledge of their core subjects.
For example
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, most software engineers
do
Verb problem
use
show examples
 computer languages
such
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 as C++, Python etc. before commencing classes at a university.
In addition
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, one other positive point is that it makes their minds fresh. Since studying for a long period and spending most of the time on that stuff
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 pupils’ minds dull, it is much more effective to unwind and refresh their brains. Turning to the side of the argument which is negative points.
Firstly
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, a year break makes students less productive in
further
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education
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.
As a
Correct word choice
A
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 number of students prefer to go for extended periods of vacation and some of them visit overseas countries;
consequently
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,
this
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 long
gap
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 affects their grades adversely. To cite an example, learners who take an annual
gap
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 have low scores in initial semesters,
according to
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 Oxford
university’s
Capitalize word
University’s
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 psychology department head. Another con would be it diverts their minds from studying
due to
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 the fact that some tutees get permanent work which pays attractive sums;
thus
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, they leave studying without attending universities.
To sum up
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, one should weigh up the advantages of a
gap
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 year
such
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 as getting a lot of time to prepare for
further
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education
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 and build their brain tensionless,
similarly
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, the downside is it makes them less effective and less concentrated.
However
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, I personally feel that continuity in
education
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 is the best picking option because it will keep tutees in touch with books and the educational environment.

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Task Response
Ensure that all points are directly related to the prompt and fully addressed. Avoid going off-topic or addressing unrelated points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to link ideas coherently. Also, organize ideas logically within paragraphs and across the essay.
Lexical Resource
Work on expanding your vocabulary and using more varied and precise expressions. Be mindful of collocations and word choice.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure, punctuation, and verb forms. Attempt more complex structures to demonstrate a range of grammatical structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
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