Some people might benefited from communication technology , but some groups of people have not benefited at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #communication #technology #groups

Some

people

believe that modern communication

softwares

Correct your spelling

software

or apps are beneficial for some individuals,

while

they have drawbacks for others. Personally, I agree with

this

statement, it is because convenience is the primary advantage to those

people

who benefit from it,

however

disturbance

Add an article

the disturbance

a disturbance

show examples

is the most serious problem which is caused by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

communication technology. On the one hand, some think that using conversation devices eliminates the boundaries between

people

. In the past ,before the invention of the internet,

people

hardly talked to those

people

who lived in other countries, since it might have taken more than a month to convey their messages by mail.

In contrast

, nowadays,

people

can easily converse with others whenever they want.

For example

, there are many dating apps which provide users with the opportunities to talk to

people

not only who live in the same district but

also

to those who live in other countries.

On the other hand

, the lack of boundaries could mean no limits. To be more specific, many

people

‘s spare time may be interrupted because of social media.

This

is because

people

could be reached easily from

anytime

Replace the word

any time

show examples

and anywhere.

For instance

due to

the popularity of social apps, many employees receive work messages continuously from their employers or colleagues even after leaving the office.

In addition

, they are forced to work overtime because of these devices. In conclusion, the foremost benefit

for

Change preposition

show examples

communication technology is the convenience of talking to

people

without limits and location.

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

this

convenience may be an issue

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

for those

people

whose personal time is disturbed by the business messages during their relaxable time.

Submitted by anitawu1992 on Tue Mar 21 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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