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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast-food shops between 2003 and 201

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast-food shops between 2003 and 201
#people #usa #fast-food #shops
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The given bar charts illustrate the proportion of citizens who ate at fast-food restaurants over the 10 years from 2003 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who ate every day, several
times
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
, once a
week
Use synonyms
 and newer witnessed a downward trend,
whereas
Linking Words
 the percentages of individuals who were eating once or twice a month and a few
times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trend within the entire
period
Use synonyms
. Another point that should
also
Linking Words
 be highlighted is that
such
Linking Words
 time frames as once a
week
Use synonyms
 and once or twice a month were the most popular
period
Use synonyms
 in 2006 and 2013 respectively.
Besides
Linking Words
, everyday eaters and
people
Use synonyms
 who never ate at fast-food restaurants remind relatively stable over the whole
period
Use synonyms
. Looking at the details, visiting junk-food cafes several
times
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 was at about 15% in 2003, and after reaching a peak of 20% in 2006, the per cent decreased by approximately 4% in 2013. As for
people
Use synonyms
 who eat once a
week
Use synonyms
, the figures started at more than 30% in 2003 and slightly rose by 3% in 2006, following which
this
Linking Words
 per cent dropped to less than 30% in the final
year
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the number of cafes which were visited once or twice a month started at 30% in the first
year
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
 there was a fall by 5% in 2006 and an increase to more than 30% in the final
year
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited
such
Linking Words
 cafes a few
times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
 started at less than 15% and
following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 increased slightly to 15% in 2006 and remained at the same position in the final
year
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the proportion of individuals who consume junk food every day was less than 5% in 2003 and remained stable up to the end of the
period
Use synonyms
. The same could be true for
people
Use synonyms
 who never visited
such
Linking Words
 shops.
Submitted by alieksdandr on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, times, week, year, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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