IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You are going to spend three months doing work experience in an organization. Write a letter to the manager of the organization where you are going to do work experience. In your letter: •Thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience, •Explain what you hope to learn from the work experience, •Ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do, You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam, You get 20 minutes to complete this task.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my sincere gratitude for offering me the opportunity to undertake a three-month apprenticeship in your esteemed organization. As a newly graduated industrial engineer, I am eager to enhance my skills and contribute to your ongoing projects. Given my expertise in preparing time schedules and bar charts, I believe I can assist in controlling project timelines and identifying potential gaps.
While
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 I have a strong theoretical foundation in time management, I am keen to learn how pragmatic parameters—particularly those that create bottlenecks—are addressed in real-world operations.
This
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 experience will help me bridge the gap between academic knowledge and practical application. To ensure I can contribute effectively, I would appreciate it if you could provide some additional details. Could you let me know how many of your current projects are facing time management challenges and how many have already been addressed?
Additionally
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, I would prefer to work on a project in the downstream oil and gas industry, as it aligns closely with my interests and expertise. Thank you once again for
this
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 invaluable opportunity. I look forward to your response and to contributing to your organization’s success. Yours faithfully, Abraham Streeter

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task achievement
You have successfully addressed all three parts of the task, providing a clear expression of gratitude, expectations, and questions. Consider expanding your inquiry about the organization to include your interest in the specific role you will be performing.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your letter is strong, with a clear division of topics in each paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next by using clearer transition phrases. For example, use 'Additionally' or 'Furthermore' to link thoughts between your skills and the questions you pose about the projects.
coherence and cohesion
While your paragraphs are mostly well-organized, remember that gender-neutral greetings can be viewed as more inclusive. Instead of 'Dear Sir or Madam,' consider 'Dear Hiring Manager' or look into who might specifically read your letter if possible.
task achievement
Your tone is very professional and respectful, which is ideal for this type of correspondence. Effective use of formal language enhances the overall impact of your letter.
task achievement
You convey a solid understanding of your field and articulate your interests clearly, which suggests a genuine eagerness to learn and contribute to the organization.
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