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Some people believe that studying for a university degree is better for an individual's carrer than gaining work experience immediately after high school. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#people #university #carrer #work #school
In today's fast-paced world, in
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
, adults want to earn money after completing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high
school
.
Therefore
, they started to do work in any field.
In contrast
, some folks believe that rather than gaining work experience after high
school
, they should focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studying
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
university
degree
. In my opinion, I completely agree that younger should attend
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific
university
 for
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 better career. One of the reasons why adults go to attend for higher studies is that they have multiple options to choose
for
Change preposition
from for
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
Add an article
a career
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. In
University
, children learn
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
 of subjects like Engineering, Arts, Commerce, and
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 as per their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
.
Moreover
, in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
,
Add an article
the university
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
also
 introduced some
another courses
Replace the adjective
another course
other courses
show examples
 like fashion,
political
Replace the word
politics
show examples
 and environmental topics.
Therefore
, Children has
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
 range
course
Change preposition
of course
show examples
 available for selection.
Due to
this
development
Add a comma
,development
show examples
 today’s
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 are more confident and powerful in their stream because they choose their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 subject. Another point to consider is that having a
university
degree
 means that students will get
high-paid
Add an article
a high-paid
the high-paid
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result, they will fulfil their dreams. Today's employer hires those applicants who did their
degree
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-known
university
 and
also
 they are
also
 ready to give high pay scale to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
applicants.
As a result
, young
people
 will complete their dreams
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
 a small age.
Therefore
, for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future, all individuals attend
university
 after high
school
.
Finally
,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education will benefit individuals and society in long run in terms of wealth. More
people
 educate in
university
 means more
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
 available in the
country
. It seems that our
country
 can capable to handle more complex projects and gain more money.
As a result
, our nation’s rank in
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 system
is increase
Change the verb form
is increased
is increasing
show examples
 and so, more technology will arrive in our
country
.
To conclude
,
although
 some
people
 argue that
people
 need to go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 work after high
school
, there are so many reasons not to do
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 and
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to
university
 for higher study. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the outcome of
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
degree
 is much better for children to complete their dreams and even it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 beneficial to
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
.
Submitted by writing7 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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