Some people believe that studying for a university degree is better for an individual's carrer than gaining work experience immediately after high school. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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In today's fast-paced world, in
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
, adults want to earn money after completing
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high
school
.
Therefore
, they started to do work in any field.
In contrast
, some folks believe that rather than gaining work experience after high
school
, they should focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studying
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
university
degree
. In my opinion, I completely agree that younger should attend
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
specific
university
for
their
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a
show examples
better career. One of the reasons why adults go to attend for higher studies is that they have multiple options to choose
for
Change preposition
from for
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
Add an article
a career
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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. In
University
, children learn
variety
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a variety
the variety
show examples
of subjects like Engineering, Arts, Commerce, and
medical
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medicine
show examples
as per their
interest
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interests
show examples
.
Moreover
, in some
country
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countries
show examples
,
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the university
show examples
university
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universities
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also
introduced some
another courses
Replace the adjective
another course
other courses
show examples
like fashion,
political
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politics
show examples
and environmental topics.
Therefore
, Children has
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
range
course
Change preposition
of course
show examples
available for selection.
Due to
this
development
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,development
show examples
today’s
adult
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adults
show examples
are more confident and powerful in their stream because they choose their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
subject. Another point to consider is that having a
university
degree
means that students will get
high-paid
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a high-paid
the high-paid
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result, they will fulfil their dreams. Today's employer hires those applicants who did their
degree
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-known
university
and
also
they are
also
ready to give high pay scale to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
applicants.
As a result
, young
people
will complete their dreams
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
a small age.
Therefore
, for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
future, all individuals attend
university
after high
school
.
Finally
,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education will benefit individuals and society in long run in terms of wealth. More
people
educate in
university
means more
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
available in the
country
. It seems that our
country
can capable to handle more complex projects and gain more money.
As a result
, our nation’s rank in
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
system
is increase
Change the verb form
is increased
is increasing
show examples
and so, more technology will arrive in our
country
.
To conclude
,
although
some
people
argue that
people
need to go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
work after high
school
, there are so many reasons not to do
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
and
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
to
university
for higher study. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the outcome of
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
degree
is much better for children to complete their dreams and even it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
beneficial to
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
.
Submitted by writing7 on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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