IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Governments should spend tax money on public libraries rather than public transportation improvements. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #tax #money #libraries #transportation #improvements
In
this
 era of globalisation, some individuals think that authorities should spend tax money on facilities
such
 as public
libraries
instead
 of improving public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the statement aforementioned above.
This
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
due to
 advances in technology
people
 are no longer using public
libraries
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate my views and
thus
 will lead to a logical conclusion. Supporting my disagreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the given statement, I firmly believe that as the number of populations
growth
Replace the word
growing
show examples
 rapidly these days, public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 help in reducing traffic problems and incidents
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 in
urban
Add an article
an urban
the urban
show examples
 area.
For instance
, the refurbishment of public
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
such
 as trains, buses and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 consistently
degrading
Wrong verb form
degrades
show examples
 the number of car
owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
 of these accidents in the future.
Thus
,
people
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all ages
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to benefit from
this
 implementation. Explaining other points
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against
this
 statement, nowadays
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
no longer use
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 as before.
This
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 an
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology gives
people
 wider access to the internet.
Moreover
, there
also
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 online reading application nowadays where
people
 can read at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
 or anywhere they
are prefer
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
 which
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 convenient and cost less
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to reading in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
libraries
.
For example
, research has shown that
people
 enjoy going to local
libraries
 to discuss
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
,
task
Correct word choice
and task
show examples
 or works with their peers rather than reading the books
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
 public transports are more crucial in serving the community as a whole. In the
nushell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 tax on public
trasport
Correct your spelling
transport
 improvements are necessary to reduce traffic issues and
preventing
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
 unwanted incidents from
occur
Change the verb form
occurring
show examples
.
Therefore
, it shows how exactly worth
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 government to spend
folks
Change noun form
folks'
folk's
show examples
 money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 development.
Submitted by adilah070720 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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