Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

Numerous individuals assume that when people become patriotic, particularly in extreme situations, issues could arise. Another school of thought,
, contends that demonstrating national loyalty is honourable and beneficial. I am in favour of the latter view because
tendency can bring a range of social advantages to a certain
. Undeniably, extreme
may be problematic
due to
its negative consequences for society and the economy. Regarding the former,
is sometimes associated with a sense of superiority over other nations. The loyalty that a person expresses towards their
may prompt them to believe that inhabitants from other nations are inferior.
can hamper them from engaging in international trade or global diplomacy, which can have an adverse bearing on their economic advancement. Another drawback is that in contemporary society,
every nation enjoys equal standing on a global scale, any
putting its self
Replace the word
puts itself
show examples
on a pedestal is destructive to the mutual connection of numerous countries. In severe circumstances,
may be the primary reason why terrorism occurs all around the world.
, despite the above-mentioned arguments, I suppose nationalism can be advantageous in terms of fostering national solidarity.
plays a vital role in bonding individuals living in the same community, which motivates them to appreciate the communal values of their motherland. In
might be viewed as a means of protecting the
from invaders.
, national solidarity is a prerequisite element to help individuals make an effort
in enhancing
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to enhance
show examples
their fundamental knowledge about long-established cultures and valuable traditions. In the long run,
propensity will bring tremendous benefits to a
's cultural preservation. In conclusion,
can be detrimental to the global economy and society of a
, I concur that its merits,
as strengthening national unity and conserving national traditions, outweigh its demerits.
Submitted by dangtranquoctrung01 on

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task response
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic and addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of patriotism. However, the support for the advantages of patriotism could be more detailed. Try to provide specific examples and elaborate on how patriotism can bring social benefits.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using transition words and phrases to link your ideas more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • sense of belonging
  • strengthening societal bonds
  • instills
  • pride and loyalty
  • excessive
  • nationalism
  • intolerance
  • discrimination
  • conflict
  • blind allegiance
  • flawed policies
  • unifying force
  • crisis
  • manipulated
  • political leaders
  • division
  • advocating
  • responsibility
  • civic duty
  • engaged
  • informed citizenship
  • balanced and inclusive
  • cultural diversity
  • marginalize
  • minority groups
  • stifle dissent
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