IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many working people get littler or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many people working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #littler #exercise #time #health
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts illustrate information about the usage of
water
Use synonyms
 in six parts of the world. The figures are given in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the charts that most
places
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 for
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 purposes with five out
six
Change preposition
of six
show examples
 parts of the world showing
this
Linking Words
.
While
Linking Words
 less
water
Use synonyms
 is used in domestic chores. A majority of
places
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 for agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 with central Asia being the highest with 88%, followed by Africa (84), South Asia (81),
then
Linking Words
 South
America
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 71%. North
America
Use synonyms
 and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
Europe
use
Use synonyms
 less
water
Use synonyms
 for Agriculture with just 39% and 32%
resepectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
. Coming to industrial
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
, North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe
use
Use synonyms
 more with 45% and 53% each
while
Linking Words
 Central Asia and Africa
use
Use synonyms
 less with 5% and 7% . In almost all
places
Use synonyms
 except for South
America
Use synonyms
, less
water
Use synonyms
 is used for domestic purposes. It is noted that Asian and African
places
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 more
water
Use synonyms
 for agriculture
whereas
Linking Words
 those in the west
use
Use synonyms
 more in industries.
Submitted by 1155131483 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: