All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this, and how could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adults

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In modern life,

obesity

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is a significant

problem

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that both adults and children are facing.

This

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disease not only affects

human's

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human

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health

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

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causes

the

Correct article usage

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burden on society.

This

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essay will look at the reasons for

this

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and propose some solutions. One of the clearest

reason

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reasons

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causing

obesity

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is the high intake of

junk

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food

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such

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as hamburgers, chips or fried chicken. Many

people

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prefer a takeaway meal or pre-prepared

food

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in the supermarket, which

contain

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contains

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lots of salt and fat, rather than cooking a healthy meal at home.

For instance

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, in the UK, the sale of

junk

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food

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has increased over the

last

Linking Words

few years. Another cause of

obesity

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inactive

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an inactive

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lifestyle. It is true that

people

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's physical activities have changed

due to

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the development of technology.

Instead

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of playing outdoor sports,

people

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spend their time watching TV or surfing the Internet.

As a result

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, the amount of redundant energy we had consumed will easily transfer into fat. A solution is for the government to put up

the

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show examples

tax on unhealthy

food

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This

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would make consumers decrease their intake of

junk

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food

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and start

spend

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spending

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time preparing

food

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at home. Another solution to tackle

this

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problem

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is that parents should spend time teaching and playing with their children. Doing outdoor activities helps us easily burn energy, keep fit,

as well as

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fresh

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freshen

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our

mind

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minds

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Last

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, the way forward might be for the government to ban the

advert

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advertising

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of unhealthy

food

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on TV or

Internet

Correct article usage

the Internet

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Change preposition

show examples

this

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way,

people

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do not have

opportunity

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the opportunity

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to catch attractive images of

junk

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food

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which usually

attract

Correct subject-verb agreement

attracts

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them to buy those products.

To sum up

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obesity

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becomes

increasingly

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an increasingly

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worrying issue affecting all age groups. In my view, government, parents,

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and school

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school

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schools

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are responsible to tackle

this

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problem

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. Action must be taken urgently.

Otherwise

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, our country will face even more serious

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problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

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in health.

Submitted by amrindersinghynr89 on Wed Mar 22 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Sedentary lifestyle
Fast food
Convenience foods
Caloric intake
Physical activity
Nutrition education
Economic factors
Health policies
Marketing strategies
Incentives
Subsidies
Overconsumption
Portion sizes
Healthy lifestyle choices

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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this, and how could it be tackled?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reason for this ? How can people research this ?

Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the govrnment's reseponsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that importing movies and TV programmes from other countries is better for country . Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Do you agree or disagree?