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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The government should spend money in promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #sport #art #school #sports #events #communities
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In the current age, sending
money
 to promote
sports
 and
art
 in
school
 is playing a significant role in our lives but in the meantime, whether promoting
sports
 and
art
 in
school
 has sparked much debate. Some people believe that the government should spend
money
 on promoting
sports
 and
art
 in
school
, as it will boost the development of relevant industries,
while
 many others argue that sponsoring professional
sports
 and
art
 events in communities is bring more benefits to the relevant businesses. Personally, I am in favour of the latter view. It is obvious that the advantage of supporting pro
sports
 and
art
 events are various.
To begin
 with, it will make them more professional
due to
 the fact that if they have enough
money
 and time for their performance, they can focus more on their purpose.
As a result
, they can make high-quality achievements.
In addition
, it will boost the development of relevant industries for the reason that if they have
money
 and time so they can make high-quality work.
For example
, if they make a good performance, it will be starting to interest their performance from the public. Thu, it will make the development of relevant industries.
On the other hand
, the advantage of promoting sport and
art
 in the academy should not be ignored. If the government sponsoring in schools, it will make them professional players or artists for the reason that the
school
 have much payment for those who are preparing for
art
 or
sports
 performances.
Therefore
, students can become professional artists or players expect than their think. In conclusion, from what has been discussed above, it is clear to reach that the positive effects of sponsoring professional
sports
 and
art
 events in communities outweigh its negative effects.
Hence
, I strongly suggest that the government should be promoting them more if necessary.
However
, we should pay attention to the bad influence it might bring.
Submitted by yjm650011 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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