Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate about whether
money
is the best gift for youngsters or not. While
there is a negative impact that money
oftentimes can detrimentally influence youngsters' behaviour, I believe that gifting money
can give selection for getting goods which they want.
To begin
with, parents think that money
has a great deal of negative aspects to affect children
's behaviour. Admittedly, if children
take money
on their birthday
, they will spend money
in a bad way, buying harmful products like alcoholic drinks. For example
, many health issues are arising because of AIDS which is able to bring about death.Therefore
, gifting money
as a present for children
is not a certain way to gain pleasure if they can not spend wisely.
On the other hand
, in today's fast-paced and convenience-driven world money
has many opportunities to purchase valuable and expensive things. These days a number of people give children
's birthday
money
as a present instead
of getting some kind of thing as a souvenir. This
is exemplified by, Canadian people giving money
to their relatives' birthday
or wedding ceremony so as to enhance the relationship. In addition
, money
can pave the path to choosing gifts for themselves, such
as mechanical equipment. As a result
of this
, giving money
is not only regarded as respect among all their nation but also
gives a choice to get.
In conclusion, giving money
to children
for their birthday
is not appropriate all the time due to
its inconvenience that damages their health condition and behaviour. In my view, there are some positive ways to go for goods if it impacts negatively.Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Provide more concrete examples and evidence to support the points made, which will strengthen the task response.
task achievement
Avoid abrupt conclusion; ensure it summarizes the main points effectively and reflectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction that outlines the topic clearly, showcasing the ability to set the context for the discussion.
task achievement
Both viewpoints are discussed, demonstrating a complete and balanced response to the essay question.