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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be rewarded. Other say that whose show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #students #scores #exams #show #progress
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Although
Linking Words
 it is sometimes thought that rewarding ought to
that
Change the determiner
that student
those students
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who get top marks in the
school
Use synonyms
 exams, other people believe that the focus should be on what they progress. In my opinion, I consider that high scores
students
Use synonyms
 have better career options in the future life. On the one hand, some people think that children, who get
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 marks in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 exams, should be rewarded and I agree.
In other words
Linking Words
, those children
are concentrate
Change the verb form
are concentrating
are concentrated
show examples
 on all
subjects
Use synonyms
 when exams take by
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are more thinkable towards all directions of topics.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 prepare
subjects
Use synonyms
 like math, history, physics, and biology and they have curious about all the
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they can
also
Linking Words
 think
all
Change preposition
of all
show examples
 the different topics in their mind.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these
students
Use synonyms
 have more choices to select their career because they have knowledge of all
subjects
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is often believed that it is better if the
rewarding
Replace the word
reward
show examples
 at
school
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those
students
Use synonyms
 who show progress.
In other words
Linking Words
, those
students
Use synonyms
 are only capable of doing well in certain
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are more thinkable towards only one topic.
For example
Linking Words
, some younger
students
Use synonyms
 like only
math’s
Change noun form
math
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 and they do many
experiment
Change to a plural noun
experiments
show examples
 in that subject and got
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
 progress in it.
Another
Replace the adjective
Other
show examples
 reasons are that they got
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
 job
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
the particular
show examples
 industry in which they have interested. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 people may vary in their opinions, I think that children have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 chance to succeed both in
school
Use synonyms
 and later in life if they are got
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 marks in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by writing7 on

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