Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is more useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some state that
television
is beneficial for education whereas
others claim that it is more used for entertainment
purposes. Even though some channels
broadcast educational information, many people
use
it to relax and I believe the usage of the
Correct article usage
apply
television
deviates more towards entertainment
.
Some programmes and channels
are specifically developed for educational purposes. They broadcast various information which is useful for children as well as
for adults. Moreover
, few channels
telecast rare wildlife scenarios which only a few people
were fortunate to witness in their lifetime. For instance
, such
a rare scene of an elephant birth was once telecasted on Animal Planet. Therefore
, these opportunities provided by television
make people
believe that it
useful for learning activities.
Add a verb
it is
it was
However
, many watch television
during their free time in order to relax and enjoy their break effectively. For some sole purpose of television
is entertainment
. Therefore
, individuals prefer watching movies, dramas or their favourite cartoons in order to minimize their stress. For example
, few people
even plan prior what
to watch during their break and some binge-watch their favourite TV series. Change preposition
to what
As a result
, some might claim that television
is more used for entertainment
. My opinion is that, even though television
can be used for both education and entertainment
, many use
it for entertainment
rather than for learning because of the
availability in Change the word
its
wide
range of Add an article
a wide
entertaining
categories.
In conclusion, some Replace the word
entertainment
channels
provide educational information thus
people
believe television
to be useful in learning activities, whereas
, others claim that it is more useful for entertainment
as people
use
it solely to relax and i
believe it has more Change the capitalization
I
use
in entertainment
as it provides various ways to get entertained.Submitted by lithmakumaradasa on
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task achievement
Your essay is well-organized and addresses both views clearly. To enhance your task achievement, consider providing a few more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your ideas are logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to ensure that each paragraph flows more smoothly into the next. Using transitional phrases could help achieve this.
general
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and varied sentence structures to improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both views and provided your own opinion, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the task.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly outline and wrap up your essay, contributing to a strong logical structure.
supported main points
Your points are generally well-supported, and the use of specific examples like the one from Animal Planet adds relevance to your arguments.