IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #safety #age #cars #motorbikes
It would be argued that increasing the minimum legal
age
 is the best solution to hinder the growth of
road
accidents
. I personally partly concur
with
Correct pronoun usage
itwith
show examples
. On the one hand, prohibiting young drivers on the
road
 has certain merits. One of which is a mature mind when people get older,
thus
 they could be more conscious of their actions with consequences. Driving at high speed is an illustration as some adolescents view it to be an adventurous activity
while
 middle-aged understand deeply the risk of hitting someone and thereby avert it.theoretically, increasing the minimum legal
age
, which is normally 16 years old, could address the situation., but the truth shows that numerous other wrongdoings, not just
age
 , cause many
road
accidents
. To elaborate, over-drinking could be a major contributor to
road
accidents
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
road
accidents
. In several countries, alcoholic beverages are a must in celebrations. The fact that
accidents
 surge dramatically over the Tet holiday in Vietnam would be clear proof. Yet, people with excessive alcohol consumption could be of any
age
, from senior to middle-aged citizens or even teenagers in some parts of the world.,
hence
 the harsh penalties on the use of alcoholic drinks could help strengthen
road
 safety.
Besides
, driving distractions might be a problem as well, and they are not related to
age
.
For instance
, a Vietnamese truck drives caused the demise of eight people only by failing to pay attention to the
road
while
 using his phone.
As a result
, raising the legal
age
 could be one, but not the optimal solution as raising residential awareness in terms of avoiding alcoholic consumption or paying attention to driving could
also
 ameliorate the situation In conclusion, people’s perspective concerning the increase in the lowest
age
 legal for driving could do some parts of assistance. I do not assent that
this
 is the best effective resolution as
road
accidents
 could result from two other factors mentioned, which
also
 need to be intervened by the government.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: