IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The medical industry has seen tremendous growth and progress over the years. But the cost of medical treatment has increased, making it inaccessible for most
people
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. I believe that having access to efficient and cutting-edge medical
treatments
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 is critical
,
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apply
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 and that it is the
government
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’s responsibility to look after its citizens by providing free
health
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care
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.
To begin
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 with, every human being has a fundamental right to
health
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,
hence
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 a free public
healthcare
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 system is necessary to meet their
healthcare
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 demands. Without a universal
health
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care
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 system, it would be nearly impossible for unemployed and elderly
people
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 to pay for expensive medical
treatments
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, making them more vulnerable to death in the event of disease.
For
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this
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 reason, the
government
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 should regard citizen well-being as a responsibility and take the appropriate steps to promote
people
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’s
health
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 by providing free medical
care
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 to those who are less fortunate.
Furthermore
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, if the
government
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 places a greater emphasis on providing
healthcare
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services
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 and medical
treatments
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 to all citizens, it will be easier to detect problems early on and avoid increased
health
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 risks.
For example
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, if diseases like diabetes are addressed early on, consequences like renal failure, stroke, and cardiac arrest can be prevented, which would
otherwise
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 necessitate costly procedures. Indeed, the
government
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 would not be able to provide free medical
services
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 for complicated and sophisticated
treatments
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 like cancer and heart attacks, which necessitate immediate attention and prompt
care
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, resulting in costly
treatments
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.
However
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, by providing free basic
healthcare
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, the
government
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 can prevent many
health
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 concerns from occurring in the first place.
To sum up
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, a country’s most valuable asset is its
people
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, and good
health
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 is the most important component of existence. So, investing in
people
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’s
health
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 by offering free medical
services
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 is critical for any
government
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.
Thus
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, the
government
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 should consider it as a responsibility to protect its
people
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 and deliver high-quality
health
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care
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services
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 for free.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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