IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #impact #individuals #society
It is believed by some
people
 that, social media
sites
 bring detrimental effects
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
favour of individuals and
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
. I mostly agree with
this
 suggestion because these
sites
 have been corrupting
people
’s moral values and many
people
 have been harmed by them psychologically.
Firstly
, numerous social networking
sites
 cause to
collapsing
Replace the word
collapse
show examples
 of moral values. Generally,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation
like
Change the verb form
likes
show examples
 to spend their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 in these addresses and they gain some bad habits
such
 as humiliating speeches,
cross gender
Add a hyphen
cross-gender
show examples
 discrimination and disrespectful behaviours
to
Change preposition
towards
show examples
 the old.
In addition
, sometimes they attend to riot acts and criminal actions via some channels. Apart from these, adults may show bad
behaviours
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviour
show examples
 and speeches too.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some men may abuse some women with sarcastic texts, women may harass their same
genders
Fix the agreement mistake
gender
show examples
. In short,
people
’s moral values have changed negatively
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social network
sites
.
Secondly
, in
psychological
Correct article usage
the psychological
show examples
 approach,
people
’s attitude has deteriorated by these
sites
.
People
 have become addicted to
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 more likes and followers and they have started that with more influence they would be more precious among others. They have broken off from reality and they have been living in social media. In these circumstances, some online addicts have become more vulnerable to critics
while
 some of them have become more reckless.
As a result
, some individuals exhibited imbalanced attitudes,
harmed
Correct word choice
and harmed
show examples
 and killed themselves. In short, a considerable portion of society lost their state of
minds
Fix the agreement mistake
mind
show examples
by
Change preposition
about
show examples
 these creations. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
 suggestion. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 social networks provide positive relationships and useful information shares, in my opinion, they often have been harming society
due to
 their negative moral and psychological
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
. 46 dk
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: