WRITING TASK 2 Animals “Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.” Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have different views about the importance of
Zoo
parks
.
While
zoos
seem to be
such
a prison for
animals
, I believe that there is no better place to keep wild
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
alive when they are likely to disappear . On the one hand , it is commonly claimed that
zoo
parks
are not only dangerous places for both human and animal life , but
also
they do not noticeably expand the countries' economy , but sometimes it works for drawbacks.
Firstly
, the  natural behaviour of livestock can be destroyed because of the fences that do not give them the freedom to move where they want though the size of the fences is widened enough . It is fact that wild
animals
are gifted with natural skills
such
as fighting for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
prey or opting for a pair , and surviving abilities are sharpened in the wildlife. Without those characteristics, they have almost no distinctive points to controllable robotics.
Secondly
,
although
the supervisors of
such
protecting places make their
animals
well-behaved for acting non-harmful roles for visitors behind the fencing , there are enough bad experiences that
consequently
end with deep injuries when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people get to near them .
Finally
, the economy
also
should be considered as a main factor to keep these kinds of
parks
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working. It is a fact that there are some well-known
zoo
parks
that attract more people and can  invest
Change preposition
in itself
show examples
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
financially because of their popularity .
However
, there could be plenty of
zoos
that have been making no profits for the countries'
economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
show examples
which set up them.  The expenses for breeding 
zoo
animals
and providing workers with
sufficient
Add an article
a sufficient
show examples
salary can be a good example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
and  most times become
weightened
Correct your spelling
heightened
weighted
than earned money from visitors . Even extra funds than normal are needed to ensure those places with work-life.
On the other hand
,  some assume that
zoo
parks
can be much more beneficial than we think . There would be exact  reasons why we should maintain and support
zoos
. One of them is   preventing   rare
animals
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extinction .For ages ,
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
species have died out ,
Correct word choice
and got
show examples
got
Replace the word
gotten
show examples
lost as well. As scientists claim that there are
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
zoo
regions to save
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
of habitats from becoming
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
and other areas standing behind
Add an article
the zoo
show examples
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
.
With
Change preposition
By
show examples
keeping wild
animals
inside the areas , we can define the infections or
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
they might spread to
surroundings
Correct article usage
the surroundings
show examples
they live near and humans are
also
one of them to get infected . Gaining valuable experience from learning these species in person is available with
zoos
.
Along with
this
, we have more opportunities to control
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
death and birth of them . In conclusion ,  I strongly believe that
zoos
can bring a great number of advantages that we should take to save wildlife rather than becoming a place for blaming .
Submitted by asqar4997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: