IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #purpose #films #value
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There are a few ideas that the only value which
films
 bring to individuals is entertainment.
Otherwise
, some people believe that
movies
 should
also
 contain educational factors.
This
 essay agrees that it is more beneficial for viewers to learn new things and be able to deal with the problems which have been mentioned
due to
 watching educational
films
. It must be recognized that people can get a lot of new information and learn lessons through
movies
.
This
 is because, nowadays, individuals are not willing to see the director's product if it is pointless
due to
 they cannot learn from the mistakes of the main character or realize any message from the film.
As a result
, the film-makers have to think and produce more meaningful
movies
.
Therefore
, it is easy to understand why
films
 should have educational value.
However
, some people prefer to watch
movies
 just for entertainment.
This
 is because the employees have been working for a whole day and they do not want to use their brains anymore. But actually, the citizens can learn new things passively that they cannot figure out when they are in the lapse of occupation. All in all, everyone is able to gain pieces of information about education without thinking too much combined with entertainment by
films
.
To conclude
, film is not the only method to amuse ourselves, it is
also
 a good place to find out new data.
For
this
 reason, the filmmakers must approach two purposes to bring more profit to the audiences.
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Structure & Clarity
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by examples or further explanation. This helps in maintaining clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
Task Response
To enhance your essay, include specific examples when discussing the educational or entertainment value of films. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Language Use
Consider varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Task Response
You effectively discuss both views and provide a clear personal opinion, meeting the task requirements well.
Structure
Your essay presents a logical structure, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding in coherence and cohesion.
Insight
Your discussion on how films can educate and entertain simultaneously offers a nuanced perspective, showing analytical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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