Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with thrir family. Others believe that thid is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #time #thrir #thid

It is undeniable that how

children

should spend their leisure

time

, is the most challenging issue all over the

world

.The majority of people claim that they should be in all the

time

in front of their parent's sight,

while

others think they should explore the

world

by doing different activities.

This

essay will analyze

this

issue using examples from schools and

parents

' personal interviews to demonstrate points and support the argument in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,

Parents

should have knowledge about their

children

Firstly

they took them into

this

beautiful

world

, and they never think badly about them.In ,addition

parents

are their first teachers and role model. They have efficient life experience, so they never think anything wrong with their loved ones.

Secondly

, If

parents

ignore them or

children

don't like the company of the

parents

probably they choose the wrong path. That will not sufficient for them.

For instance

, In the Survey of ,America the issue of crime has grown in importance over the past few years just because

due to

busy life of the

parents

. They don't have

time

to listen to their child,

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

show examples

they choose the wrong path.

This

example is showing from the given statement that both should be in each other's company. On the second hand, In the technology ,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

world

they have numerous things to learn. If they all the

time

They are in her mother's lap they cannot explore the

world

This

will put impact their promising future. On the flip ,

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

side they even don't have the skills how to act outside the home.They will act like a little kid because they have never been to a community event.

Moreover

, they should participate in volunteer Work.

For example

in a school interview, those

children

who are not part of volunteer events or communities are not practical, Intelligent, and disciplined.It will help them to learn new skills which are necessary.

Furthermore

, they should give aid to local communities and learn new things from them.

To conclude

, having said that all,I believe that there is nothing wrong spend

time

with

parents

,but learning about is extremely important for their welcoming

Submitted by pawanpreetkaur653 on Thu Mar 23 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

354 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with thrir family. Others believe that thid is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people say that no one should work after the age of sixty-five while others say that they can work as long as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Do the advantages of hosting a major sporting event outweigh its disadvantages?

Recent advances in medical science have resulted in increased life expectancy over the past few years. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that school should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful fot their future career. Other people think that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ?