IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people choose to eat not meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own healthbut also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your opinion?

#people #meat #fish #healthbut #world
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In
this
 era of globalisation, choosing the right foods
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important both physically and mentally. Some individuals prefer to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegan
 as they think that
this
benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
show examples
 the world and
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 good for their own health. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement aforementioned above.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate on my view and
thus
 lead to logical a conclusion. Supporting my disagreement with the given statement,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 firmly believe that
although
 becoming a
vegan
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
people
 to eat healthy foods, it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 fully beneficial to their body.
In addition
, when
people
adopting
Wrong verb form
adopt
show examples
vegan
Correct article usage
a vegan
show examples
 lifestyle by eating only vegetables,
its
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it's
it is
show examples
 not supply them with enough protein as
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
meats
 or
fishs
Correct your spelling
fish
fishes
. To cite an example, there are several side effects of being
vegan
 which are
anemia
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anaemia
show examples
, disruptions in hormone production, vitamin B12 deficiencies, and depression from a lack of omega-3 fatty acids.
Consequently
,
vegan
Correct article usage
a vegan
show examples
lifestlye
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 will destroy
nutrient
Add an article
the nutrient
show examples
 balance and a person can easily become
fatigue
Correct your spelling
fatigued
show examples
. Explaining some of the points against
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 notion, the food industry or
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 that process their product from
meats
 or
fishs
Correct your spelling
fish
fishes
 can lead to
downturn
Correct article usage
a downturn
show examples
 since more
people
 prefer to follow
this
 lifestyle.
For instance
,
algricultural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
 sectors that sell chicken,
meats
 or fish probably
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 and
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
show examples
 job losses
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 local
people
.
Moreover
, as the community are no longer consuming these proteins, it contributes to overpopulation or overgrazing which in
return
Replace the word
turn
show examples
unbalancing
Wrong verb form
unbalances
show examples
 the ecosystem.
Therefore
, eating
meats
 are crucial for the environment
as well as
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
. To summarise, becoming a
vegan
 is not the best option for society to be healthy and
such
 development creates
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive
choas
Correct your spelling
chaos
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the natural ecosystem and countries.
Thus
, the right approaches to deal with it are to educate
people
 about its damaging effects.
Submitted by adilah070720 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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